Amidst All the Chaos.

I survived the month of February. It was a hell of a month. I barely had time to just sit and eat or sleep. Things went screwy and my stress was off the charts. Life kept backhanding me almost everyday. Well, I’m glad I survived.

Last month, I experienced, for the second time, someone giving me a book I’ve been wanting and being too busy to even just open it. Avid readers know what kind of torture that is, but hopefully, I can finally read it this month.

I finished the apparent 15% of one of my books in the works. I’m crazy for having 4 ongoing books all at the same time. This really defeats my rule to only having 2 ideas at a time. Oh well. It does help me defeat my writer’s block though, so it’s not so bad.

Have a great March.

Keep writing writers and future published authors! Stay inspired and always inspire.

#anotheraspiringwriter

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Is This The Push I Need?

According to many blogs and their website, Spencer Hill Press is going to be open to submissions for the whole month of December. I have also been looking around to see other places that accept unsolicited or unagented queries, especially international queries. Well, I’ve seen some promising ones.

Now that I have the push, here is what’s making me hang onto the diving board for dear life…

I started writing query letters, well, drafts of them. I feel silly and at times bored with what I’ve written. I am struggling to finish a few drafts and see what sounds more interesting. I also am afraid, again, from my lack of writing credits. I’ve been told months back that it would not matter because it’s the writing that counts. I’m still holding onto that thought.

I was just wondering…

Is it in any way or completely embarrassing that I have one complete manuscript in the three to four years I’ve been writing seriously? I feel, what’s the word… inadequate as a writer? I have plenty of perfectly good reasons why my manuscript count is so low, but I know many people hate reasons or excuses.

I’m really trying to push myself.

I will make a query this month and I will get a response for it! (I say that with all the optimism and enthusiasm.) Don’t worry, I’m not saying I’ll get rejected or accepted. Any response for my query would put me over the moon. It would be a great first step as a writer.

Inspire and get inspired!

 

#anotheraspiringwriter

Optimism Aside…

One problem I find in myself, that I wonder if others experience as well, is that even if I am struck with so much enthusiasm and optimism, there will always be that little fly of fear that keeps buzzing in your ear, constantly reminding you of the reality out there. The truth hurts, as they say, and that’s a part of life. This is all normal and a way our days go on, but sometimes you just can’t help but be pushed into the ground by that annoying buzz of fear and doubt.

Why am I deciding to go on about this just when NaNoWriMo is at its final stretch?

Well, from my previous post, I have decided not to pursue the deadline, but I have not killed the idea and the partial manuscript-slash-draft. This final stretch of manic writers trying to reach their goals of 50,000 or more words got me thinking, more like reminiscing, about my beginnings when I started taking writing as a serious hobby.

At first, being filled with so many random and seemingly great ideas, I was ready to write whatever came into mind. As soon as I’d finish something I saw was good, I’d show it to my friends to read. (Note: My dedication to this hobby started in college, so it was a bit awkward, but I didn’t care.) There were mixed reactions to it, like I could get even better or it’s good, but something is still missing or whatever. I was unfazed by that and I knew (I still do) that I could become better. When it came to the point that I was nearing more than 10,000 words on my manuscript (the only currently finished manuscript I have), I decided that even though I attain my goals in the Nursing field, I still want to see my name on print as a full-fledged author (and maybe a bestseller… what wishful thinking…).

Now, where am I?

I am here three years later with only one completed manuscript, a couple beginning paragraphs, and now half a manuscript all thanks to NaNoWriMo.

How does fear tie into all of this?

I’m afraid to start anew or continue what I started. The buzzing got too loud for me and I am in an official rut. I’m doing all I can to get out of it, but I think I need to take it slow and not push myself too much. There are tons of ideas floating in my mind that could possibly make a great book in the future, but the buzz comes again questioning if it could survive and if it did, would people like it.

I am sure I am not alone in this kind of situation and I know even the greatest of writers face this giant wall.

Wish me luck as I try to knock the darn wall over.

Inspire others as you wish to be inspired.

#anotheraspiringwriter

 

P.S. This is my 100th post since I started this blog. Some topic, right? Well, I think the weakness in many people nowadays is the refusal to accept what they really feel so they won’t appear inferior. I’m speaking as a Psychiatric Nursing Major when I say that we need to accept what we perceive and feel in order to be able to do what we are meant to do and help others. If we are stuck in our own minds, battling the the truth we don’t wish to accept, then we stop living life as freely as we were all meant to be.

It’s a Matter of Perspective

Well, all month long I would cringe at the thought that I would be saying this, but I am here to say it after all… I won’t be finishing my NaNoWriMo entry. *Feign Chest Pains*

Why?

I just got hit by a writer’s block or maybe a writer’s boulder, but even though it feels disappointing I don’t feel too bummed. Like Jodie commented on my last post, even if I don’t make it to 50,000 I’ll still have a lot written down. I can say I never wrote 26,700 words in less than three weeks which is a big leap for me. (Thank you Jodie for planting that wonderful thought in my mind.)

Another reason why I could not accomplish my task of writing down 50,000 words is that I had classes to think about, which may have cheered on my writer’s block. I tend to worry about future requirements and get myself all worked up. I don’t mind this because as soon as I finish the requirements, I end up writing like crazy.

I know how everyone in NaNoWriMo is part of a region and you get to connect with others like you, but I had a lot of trouble connecting. I felt very intimidated at how experienced and accustomed everyone was with each other. My shy side decided to may itself dominant and let me hide in the shadows. Checking out the page for my region and the Facebook page they have, I had the very strong urge to post or make myself known, but I always chickened out at the last second. (It was that and after the fact I didn’t get any replies from a thread I made after a couple of days, which sort of scared me off.)

I have one final reason, which is that my dear mother loved the idea of making home-made holiday decorations based on the “origami” star I made. I’m not sure if it was a mistake showing it to her, but we had fun making (and still making) a whole bunch of stars of different sizes and colors. (I’ll put up pictures of them soon)

Now, I guess I’m not upset. Being a newbie at NaNoWriMo, this was a new experience for me. I salute those who have already won and are still fighting to get there. I’m not giving up, I’m just saying next year will be something for me. I may have not won, but I am a proud NaNoWriMo participant. I’ll have a year to improve myself.

Be inspired and inspire others!

#anotheraspiringwriter

My Oh My!

I am 6,000 words behind on my NaNoWriMo entry. I blame my week-long writer’s block that took so much from me. It was frustrating and I’m really not confident that I’m going to finish the 50,000 words. I will keep on writing and see where it takes me. It’s my goal to be a NaNoWriMo winner, but if I don’t make it, then there will always be next year. I’m starting to see the plot clearly, but I’m not sure if it’s substantial enough to get to the glorious goal.

I have gotten over my writer’s block and I’m back to writing. It was my body and mind’s way of getting me to have some “me time” and a little less writing time. I’d just like my mind to know that a week was way too long.

Good luck! We still have less than two weeks to go.

Be inspired and inspire others!

 

#anotheraspiringwriter