Optimism Aside…

One problem I find in myself, that I wonder if others experience as well, is that even if I am struck with so much enthusiasm and optimism, there will always be that little fly of fear that keeps buzzing in your ear, constantly reminding you of the reality out there. The truth hurts, as they say, and that’s a part of life. This is all normal and a way our days go on, but sometimes you just can’t help but be pushed into the ground by that annoying buzz of fear and doubt.

Why am I deciding to go on about this just when NaNoWriMo is at its final stretch?

Well, from my previous post, I have decided not to pursue the deadline, but I have not killed the idea and the partial manuscript-slash-draft. This final stretch of manic writers trying to reach their goals of 50,000 or more words got me thinking, more like reminiscing, about my beginnings when I started taking writing as a serious hobby.

At first, being filled with so many random and seemingly great ideas, I was ready to write whatever came into mind. As soon as I’d finish something I saw was good, I’d show it to my friends to read. (Note: My dedication to this hobby started in college, so it was a bit awkward, but I didn’t care.) There were mixed reactions to it, like I could get even better or it’s good, but something is still missing or whatever. I was unfazed by that and I knew (I still do) that I could become better. When it came to the point that I was nearing more than 10,000 words on my manuscript (the only currently finished manuscript I have), I decided that even though I attain my goals in the Nursing field, I still want to see my name on print as a full-fledged author (and maybe a bestseller… what wishful thinking…).

Now, where am I?

I am here three years later with only one completed manuscript, a couple beginning paragraphs, and now half a manuscript all thanks to NaNoWriMo.

How does fear tie into all of this?

I’m afraid to start anew or continue what I started. The buzzing got too loud for me and I am in an official rut. I’m doing all I can to get out of it, but I think I need to take it slow and not push myself too much. There are tons of ideas floating in my mind that could possibly make a great book in the future, but the buzz comes again questioning if it could survive and if it did, would people like it.

I am sure I am not alone in this kind of situation and I know even the greatest of writers face this giant wall.

Wish me luck as I try to knock the darn wall over.

Inspire others as you wish to be inspired.

#anotheraspiringwriter

 

P.S. This is my 100th post since I started this blog. Some topic, right? Well, I think the weakness in many people nowadays is the refusal to accept what they really feel so they won’t appear inferior. I’m speaking as a Psychiatric Nursing Major when I say that we need to accept what we perceive and feel in order to be able to do what we are meant to do and help others. If we are stuck in our own minds, battling the the truth we don’t wish to accept, then we stop living life as freely as we were all meant to be.

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It’s a Matter of Perspective

Well, all month long I would cringe at the thought that I would be saying this, but I am here to say it after all… I won’t be finishing my NaNoWriMo entry. *Feign Chest Pains*

Why?

I just got hit by a writer’s block or maybe a writer’s boulder, but even though it feels disappointing I don’t feel too bummed. Like Jodie commented on my last post, even if I don’t make it to 50,000 I’ll still have a lot written down. I can say I never wrote 26,700 words in less than three weeks which is a big leap for me. (Thank you Jodie for planting that wonderful thought in my mind.)

Another reason why I could not accomplish my task of writing down 50,000 words is that I had classes to think about, which may have cheered on my writer’s block. I tend to worry about future requirements and get myself all worked up. I don’t mind this because as soon as I finish the requirements, I end up writing like crazy.

I know how everyone in NaNoWriMo is part of a region and you get to connect with others like you, but I had a lot of trouble connecting. I felt very intimidated at how experienced and accustomed everyone was with each other. My shy side decided to may itself dominant and let me hide in the shadows. Checking out the page for my region and the Facebook page they have, I had the very strong urge to post or make myself known, but I always chickened out at the last second. (It was that and after the fact I didn’t get any replies from a thread I made after a couple of days, which sort of scared me off.)

I have one final reason, which is that my dear mother loved the idea of making home-made holiday decorations based on the “origami” star I made. I’m not sure if it was a mistake showing it to her, but we had fun making (and still making) a whole bunch of stars of different sizes and colors. (I’ll put up pictures of them soon)

Now, I guess I’m not upset. Being a newbie at NaNoWriMo, this was a new experience for me. I salute those who have already won and are still fighting to get there. I’m not giving up, I’m just saying next year will be something for me. I may have not won, but I am a proud NaNoWriMo participant. I’ll have a year to improve myself.

Be inspired and inspire others!

#anotheraspiringwriter

My Oh My!

I am 6,000 words behind on my NaNoWriMo entry. I blame my week-long writer’s block that took so much from me. It was frustrating and I’m really not confident that I’m going to finish the 50,000 words. I will keep on writing and see where it takes me. It’s my goal to be a NaNoWriMo winner, but if I don’t make it, then there will always be next year. I’m starting to see the plot clearly, but I’m not sure if it’s substantial enough to get to the glorious goal.

I have gotten over my writer’s block and I’m back to writing. It was my body and mind’s way of getting me to have some “me time” and a little less writing time. I’d just like my mind to know that a week was way too long.

Good luck! We still have less than two weeks to go.

Be inspired and inspire others!

 

#anotheraspiringwriter

Worries!

Well, I’m bummed that I’m behind on my NaNoWriMo entry, but I’m worried I won’t finish in time. I am currently making up for about 6,000 words with only 1,500 words from 2-3 hours of writing. I’m glad I don’t have any scheduled classes for the next four days so I’m sure to catch up.

Good luck writers! Keep on writing!

Be inspired!

 

#anotheraspiringwriter

Vacation Time

My 3-week vacation started out with me joining a training to aide my nursing career and studies. It was tiring and it left me with so little energy to update this like I planned. I am currently on week number 2, which is almost over, and I only have one week left.

This past week, I spent most of my time editing my first manuscript. I managed to shave off some unnecessary parts and words. I have been able to see more errors and things that should be cleaned up. I am on my way to making my first manuscript a better one.

Reading around writing articles, thanks to Writer’s Digest online, I learned that sometime you just need to let your works in progress to sit alone for a while. It helps us gain a better perspective on what we wish to send out to future readers, when we ¬†are given the great chance to be published. It’s such a tedious task for people who don’t feel the dedication to being a writer. It doesn’t feel so tedious to me. I enjoy editing my work. I get laughs from the simple mistakes I’ve made from long ago. I also see how much I’ve overwritten simple scenes.

How do you feel about editing and writing and editing again? Do you love it or dread it?

Be inspired as always!

 

 

#anotheraspiringwriter

By The Looks of Things.

I guess I am starting to manage things well with schoolwork, writing, and blogging. Although my persistently high stress level is always with me, I’m finding little ways to get things done.

Unfortunately, or must I say fortunately, my phone was on the verge of breaking down and was constantly giving me a hard time. My parents decided to get me a new one, an android one. I now have apps on my phone that help me get some writing and reading done while I’m on the go. I never have to worry now whenever I get a sudden idea I need to write down. This is a blessing for me, since my stress levels were not pretty.

I’ve been able to get tiny bits of stress off me with these mini writing breaks (a break where I write some fiction for a while, not a break from writing fiction) and it feels good. I’ve got better creative flow and when it comes to juggling all the schoolwork, my body decided not to take a dive in the ill pool.

Life will definitely put you in a rut and it will keep doing that whenever you get out of it. We just have to be persistent. It is okay to feel weak or uninspired sometimes, because we were wired to feel these things too.

Be inspired and be positive!

 

#anotheraspiringwriter

Never Miss.

What?

Well, you never miss a chance to have fun. Never miss a moment to smile. As a writer, you never miss an opportunity to write.

In our world of chaos and disarray, we never get enough time to do the things we wish (unless it’s professional writing, then you have to make time). For hobby writers, it can feel a whole lot frustrating and suffocating. The world of writing is a free place to breathe and just be whatever you want.

Regrettably, I’ve missed tons of opportunities to sit down and just write. I would always end up asleep or staring at the wall. I’ve been feeling drained. My mind is filled with things to write, but my body barely has the stamina to move.

My advice (and the advice of many writers): Never stop writing.

I have to remind myself of that every chance I get.

We should never be barred from doing things we are meant to do. It’s how we were made and how our soul can be heard. I’ve learned that these past months. I gotta make time for the things I love to do.

Be inspired and inspire!

 

#anotheraspiringwriter