A Friend of a Friend.

The following are comments from a friend of a friend (my mentor). I had to take the chance and let someone, who had the least bias and connection to me, read my work. It made me nervous, but I was determined to find out what other people would say about my first manuscript.

So, here they are…

– The choice of words are too common. Use some/or a limited number of  high-level English words to bring sophistication to the novel.
– Use idioms, and figures of speech to add spice to your writing technicalities. Simplicity is good but too much of it will make your novel mediocre. Add SPICE!
– Check the coherence of verbs. Most verbs are in the past tense but some are in the present tense. Consistency is a must.
– The opening page should capture the interest of the reader. The opening paragraph/s should contain something that will make the reader want to read more. There has to be ACTION.
– There has to be a dilemma, a problem in the first page!
– Remove the unnecessary dialogues. These will cause eye strain.
– Read the book “Hooked” by LEO EDGERTON. This will help you in this endeavor.

At first, I spent a couple of minutes staring at the email with the comments. I didn’t know what to think really. A flurry of emotions passed through me and I didn’t know which one should take over. I was grateful, yet upset, then happy, yet sad, then reliant, yet doubtful. I was a bit lost at that moment. I guess it’s true when they say that when you’re out having your first manuscript, your baby, critiqued by others, you get a bit high strung and you view it as something perfect. Nothing’s ever perfect the first time. If it was then I should be published by now. Haha.

Well, what do I think of the comments, now a couple hours in my head?

I appreciate them a lot.

I still have the dilemma of contradicting ideas when concerning tenses in writing. I was told that when you write about something that assumes to be permanent, you have to use present tense even if the tense for the whole story is in past tense. Then again, I’ve been told otherwise. (I need some solid advice on this matter…)

What could have made the comments better?

I wish that this friend could have pointed out some of the unnecessary dialogue, because, honestly, I think everything I put in is necessary, but I know this is wrong. It’s gonna be a challenge to analyze what is necessary and what is not.

The plus side to all this?

I’m not sure if i’m being an ass and assuming things, but there weren’t any comments on the middle and end of the story, which might mean that my hook or the beginning is the one that needs working on. I hope my analysis is correct on this.

Admittedly, I know I have a slight weakness in starting a story and making a good hook. I’ll just have to keep working on it.

Well, I’m sure, dear fellow writers, you can use these comments as well when looking at your own projects.

Be inspired! Help anyone and everyone grow and be creative!

 

#anotheraspiringwriter

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